Sunday, June 26, 2022

Beautiful Disaster ~ Perfectly Imperfect


Hello...My Name is Tami...
I am an Alcoholic,,,
in Recovery for 3 years...
and I have been a Beautiful Disaster and Perfectly Imperfect...
from the moment of conception.

My Dad was 19...my Mom 16...on the Joyous occasion of...
their Shotgun Wedding due to my soon to be Birth.

Born July 16, 1967...Perfectly Imperfect...
Perfect in every way possible...
except...
on her Father's side, the male genetics have a Hereditary weak muscle in one eye, 
commonly known as a 'lazy' eye...usually the right eye...
Beautiful Disaster who is Perfectly Imperfect was the first Female child to 
Inherit the dreaded Lazy Eye...Imperfect. 

Dad worked two jobs and Mom stayed home to raise Moya aka Me.
Typical 60's story...Right?
WRONG?!"

Young Mom goes Wild, running around, leaving and disappearing for indeterminate amounts of times. Only to reappear, begging forgiveness with promises and lies, of turning over a new leaf and becoming the wife and mother he deserves and needs. 

But, eventually the the Mom returns one to many times...
and this time she is pregnant?!?
Nope...
Unfortunate for the Perfectly Imperfect Child...
Young Mom runs away with an Army man taking their Beautiful Disaster with her.

During this time the pregnant Mom is following and traveling with Mr. Army...
from Base to Base...eventually having another child...a girl. 

Perfectly Imperfect~Beautiful Disaster Tami is returned to her Father when she was 5...
probably because of the Lazy Eye, she was not sold for $1,000 to strangers as her Sister was...

It's said that Pictures are worth a Thousand Words...
then pictures of me when I was returned to my Dad,,.
were chilling, haunting and soul shattering.

Bruised and beaten from head to toe, timid, afraid to look anyone in the eye or speak above a whisper. A raised hand or voice has me quivering and quaking...tears already forming in seconds in the corners of my eyes, ready to overflow and never stop, bottomless hurt, confusion, unknown shame but shame just the same. Starved to emancipation, skin and bones, ribs showing.

Unloved, unwanted, beaten, bruised, starved, permanently scarred...
and shadowy, horrific, unthinkable, subconscious memories,,,
that only become clear in the black of the night...
in her nightmares they become all to clear...
All to Real!

Forgiveness and Blessings to All Involved in this,,,
Beautiful Disaster~Imperfectly Perfect Saga... 
 
To Be Cont...

I am a Poster Child for 
Beautiful Disaster~Imperfectly Perfect 

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Beautiful Disaster ~ Perfectly Imperfect

Hello...My Name is Tami... I am an Alcoholic,,, in Recovery for 3 years... and I have been a Beautiful Disaster and Perfectly Imperfect... f...